Jordanian Hospitality

My favorite thing about the Arab culture has been the greatness of their hospitality. Even when other things give me the urge to complain, this has been an almost flawless component of experiencing Jordanian culture. From the moment you step into someone’s home, you enter your own personal royal kingdom as a visitor.

Okay, perhaps “personal royal kingdom” is a bit of an exaggeration but it gets the point across. You are instantly sat down with tea, followed by coffee, followed by fruit, followed by dessert. Short drop-by visits are unheard of and help, don’t you dare offer to help with anything because you will be laughed at and sat back down.  While other cultures I have come across are very welcoming and hospitable, the Arab culture is beyond generous to the people they invite into their home.

It's About Endurance

I am nearing my last week in Amman and while I am quite ecstatic about going home where granola bars are accessible, I am beginning to realize there are a few things I will really miss once I’m gone. I have pondered over these things and have narrowed them down to the top three. First on the list are people I’ve met and gotten close to. Even though Jordanians are not the friendliest, I have met the exceptions to the rule and it will be very hard to say goodbye. It will be particularly hard to depart with the great families that have opened up their homes to me during my stay here. This also includes the people I have been working out with, a fun and very encouraging group of people. Second on the list is having easy access to practice my Arabic. While my Arabic is not as good as my German (could be because it’s 2345728945725 times harder), my spoken Arabic has improved a lot since my arrival. Being forced to practice on the streets has helped the learning process and I fear I will forget everything I’ve learned once I’m back. Last but not least is getting a view of the entire city from every hill. One thing about Amman is that it is built on hills and while this is very inconvenient for walking or biking, it is great for getting a glimpse of the city as you drive from one place to the other. A beautiful view in the evening as the sun begins to set.

            Answering this question took slightly longer than I thought it would because things I “wouldn’t” miss kept coming to mind. Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed my time here and there are many things I have learned to love, but unfortunately sometimes it’s easier to see the negatives rather than the positives. This experience kind of reminds me of hiking up to see the “Al Dier” Monastery (the largest monument in Petra) the first week I was here. We hiked up forever with the sun shining right on our heads and to top it all off, my right knee started bothering me. There were sooo many annoyances with the hike that I began to wonder if it was even worth what we would get to see at the top. And yes, it was very much worth the hike but it took positivity and endurance to get there.

            I have often missed home to the point of wishing I could teleport back but I have endured and seen past the things that made me homesick. Seeing past the fog of differences that often came off as negatives allowed me to enjoy and appreciate the good things about this place. “As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out form my mouth: It will not return to me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11. Wherever we are, God’s purpose for us will shine and flourish as we push through the rough patches in life. It is okay to take notice of the negatives, but we can’t allow them to plant thoughts in our minds that state we are not strong enough or fast enough for our experiences, because life is not a race to the finish line but rather a test of endurance. So when the going gets tough and those negatives pile up, pair them up and turn them into positives. 

An Audience of One

Recently, I have been asked quite a bit about what I struggled with the most in adapting to Jordanian culture. Competing on the list are things like the cat calling, the dress code in the summer and the lack of walking, but on the slot for number one is social pressure. I agree, there’s social pressure everywhere but it’s just a tad bit more apparent here because it is different from the kind of social pressure I am used to. As an example I would show you a picture of the restroom at the University here but you wouldn’t be able to see it anyways. It is always crowded with girls waiting in line to re-apply make-up and hairspray. Alright, so we aaaall do it… but not for a University language course and from what I remember, we don’t normally wear heels to campus –a usual here.

            Back home most social pressure comes from wanting to people please (at least where I’m from). If your friends smoke in middle smoke, you smoke so you can keep them. If you clean your room in High School, it’s so your parents will extend your curfew on the weekend. And if you change your hairstyle when you go to college, it’s so the mirror won’t get bored with you. In Jordan, social pressure has less to do with people pleasing and more to do with strong social norms. Here, you would not want people to think you are from a lower social class so dressing up is more of a priority; whether you are going to grab coffee with a friend or taking a bus to buy gum at a convenience store. I don’t necessarily run errands in pajamas back home but if the gym is my last stop, wearing my gym clothes all day is not a big deal; something you wouldn’t consider doing here. In relation to public transportation, I caught on rather quickly on the fact that if a girl has no choice but to sit next to a man on the bus or vice-versa, he/she should move as soon as another spot opens up. I learned this after getting a few frowns for not moving a couple of times…. Ooopss.

            The pressure here comes from frowns and stares people give you when you do something out of the norm, along with associations they might make about your living conditions. As I roam the streets of a foreign country, I realize the importance of fighting against the social pressures that may seem so normal but are nevertheless so dissolute. I don’t mean for you to be culturally insensitive in a foreign country or an outcast in your own but rather realizing that we are to serve an audience of ONE. Back home people can focus so much on pleasing others that they lose their confidence when their audience walks out on them. While here, people focus so much on following the rules that they forget the importance of turning that frown upside down. Whether it’s in associating achievement with acceptance or feeling uptight every time you step out the door, as Isaiah 55:2 says, it is time we quit spending our money and energy on what does not satisfy. Or centering our lives around what other people want or expect. So call on the Lord while he is near and lean on the faithful love he is offering you before you check yourself in the rearview mirror for acceptance, for the third time. Crack through the social air that is suffocating the truth and fight to accomplish the purpose for which God has sent you wherever in the world you may be.